Relationships Change…

What do you love especially in a companion; friend; partner to enjoy their company for just a moment in time. Others decide to spend even more time than usual opting to move in together, get engaged and possibly look towards getting married.

All these changes occur in any relationship a person has to exchange thoughts, feelings, experiences as we communicate and share our daily life events. Life events seem to change our way of being in the world at times, when we can lose sight of each other and not know if we are going to meet our familiar partner we once knew from long ago or another person who has become more of a stranger as time goes on.

It does not matter if you are single or in a partnership; loneliness can challenge a lot of people with a busy life style. We can meet and live a person, but what happens when you wake up next to a stranger and yet still love them for who they were from your past. Do you still know them and if you do, could it be you just may not know yourself at this moment in time compared to who you once were ten or twenty years ago?

Time changes each of us. What would you like to do? I know looking at our self can be difficult, especially when you do not know what you are going find and whether we can accept; love or reject that part of us inside we find. Even more difficult, is when you see your partner struggling in their own dilemmas, it can be a number of issues related to work or home and yet you have your own problems too.

Are you able to communicate with each other or just share a space to feel connected instead in the hope issues will resolve themselves given a period of time change will happen…eventually? Then again they could get worse and where does it begin or even end?

These are the changes in any relationship. Is this team not working together? Or separately and maybe slowly drifting apart? It can be the elephant in the room or  even similar to a boa constrict silently strangling the relationship, but neither of you knows were to start, just because there is too much to deal with and so little time to deal with the problem. Time takes it toll on any relationship, with the daily pressures or work and family; no time to sit; think or time to talk…

The next item on your own agenda always seems to be more important than spending time together, to find out where the problems are and how to tackle each issue without regressing into a teenage argument, as to who is right or wrong. Again…nothing gets resolved as so it begins again, neither of you say anything until the next opportunity comes around again and attempt to do something differently in the hope something will change and the stranger slowly turns into your old familiar partner you still once loved as before the chaos and confusion. Until something else happens again, becomes an issue and it starts all over again like an emotional rollercoaster with enduring pain by working with the high’s and low’s.

That is life and yes, we all change in a relationship, but there comes a point when it really is time to stop going around in circles each time there is a problem and start looking at ourselves differently either as an individual or as a couple to create a successful future in life.

Let’s see if we can iron out the creases and deal with all the knots, which have led you here and attempt something healthier and different in therapy.

I look forward to seeing you, soon…

Bullying in The Workplace

Relational/social bullying still exists in the workplace, which we once associated with events at school.   It currently stands as one of the main underlining causes for absence away from work and declines further in issues related to anxiety, stress and depression as reported in the following article from Bullying UK –

Without appropriate immediate intervention it can lead to a nervous break down, bouts of depression, panic attacks and even suicide.  Its time to change this ongoing trend and support a valued workforce.  Employers do not need to understand the in depth issue regarding each case other than creating a better working environment, just get the right support in place to prevent this from happening again to make a difference.

Companies ensure there are always immediate access to desk support teams around the UK or worldwide, which are in place to support servers if they should suddenly go down.  What is there available for your employees to access in their personal time and for how long to maintain their productivity?

If you need assistance or help please contact me on 0704 090 1520 or alternatively go to my website:- for further information.

Childhood issues impacting adulthood

Look out for the new Barnado’s life story TV advert tells the story of Michael, a vulnerable child who has turned his life around with the support of Barnardo’s.   It really depicts how matters not addressed in childhood can impact your later adult life and the impact it has on others if not addressed.

For more details see the following link:

Reported rapes down in Tandridge

FEWER people in Tandridge are coming forward to report rapes than in previous years, according to Surrey Police.

In 2011, the force received eight reports – one every six and a half weeks. But in 2010 there were 21 reports – or one every two-and-a-half weeks. To date this year, there have been just three reports.

DECLINE:  The number of reported rapes has dropped

DECLINE: The number of reported rapes has dropped

The drop came to light after the Courier & Observer made a request under the Freedom of Information Act.

Oxted-based Catherine Sonaram-Taylor, who runs Clearing Thoughts Counselling centre which helps victims of sexual abuse, said she was concerned by the drop in reported incidents.

She said: “It does concern me more people aren’t coming forward, but at the same time people need a lot of courage and support to report these sorts of crimes.

“I do think that the number of people suffering from rape has not changed. I think it has stayed the same for the last decade. The police are trying to enable victims to come forward, but the process is long and lengthy.

“Victims can be put off of reporting rape and sexual assault because of the process.

“But equally there are people who want to see their attacker brought to justice. I think there needs to be extra support groups to help victims understand that they are not alone and there are others who have gone through it and come out the other end stronger.”

Detective Inspector Juliet Parker of the Surrey Police Sexual Offences Investigation Team, said: “The number of rapes reported nationally has decreased, which could be due to a number of factors including the way in which crime is recorded. Surrey Police continues to have one of the lowest rates for reports of serious sexual assault per head of population in England and Wales.

“Surrey Police treats all allegations of rape and sexual assault seriously and over recent years we have invested significantly in supporting victims.

“Our specialist staff and officers are trained in obtaining the best evidence from victims and will always treat their welfare as paramount.”

Seven of the 21 rape offences reported locally last year were recorded as “no crime”, meaning any alleged offence was no longer considered as rape.

An allegation of rape made in April by a woman in her 30s following an incident in Jenners Field, off Vicarage Road, Lingfield, is still under investigation.

For confidential advice on issues of sexual assault, call 0845 5196168 or e-mail

Source: East Grinstead Courier and Observer.